Puzzled mind !

Hello there guys I’m back here again with my shit, lol. I really hope you’re doing well,  having fun huh? Well I’m kinda after long here.

I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me it’s like I’m dealing with so much but I’ve started giving so much less reaction to everything, even if people are talking to me and I’m interested in that still the way I reply or I talk to that person it makes them feel I ain’t interested, I don’t receive calls, I don’t talk to my family or friends much lol sorry friends aren’t really that much true because for that you’re suppose to have friends which I don’t. Whatever happens I just cannot make a person feel special no matter what I’m doing, it’s just never enough for them everything just leads to a negative way. I’ve been so strong that I stopped feeling emotions at all I haven’t cried for ages no matter how bad the situation is it’s just so fucked. Nothing is fun anymore neither I go out much I don’t even do things which I used to like idk if I should seek medical help which I genuinely don’t wanna do it takes a lot of money lmao I’d better take a bottle of whiskey and drink it off rather than explaining shit to a person.

I really really want to be like others, I wanna be pretty like other girls and I’m just being ugly af everyday just loosing weight becoming thin people are making me more insecure about it which I just hate because I’m someone who’s never insecure about myself but look at me I ain’t bold like before I don’t like to take pictures anymore I’m hating my dark circles can’t get a tattoo because I ain’t getting thick thighs goooddddddd I’m so annoyed ugghhhhhh.

Guys Ik I’m venting so bad but trust me this is the only safe place for me where I’m able to vent. And I’m ready to fix up my life and myself. I will start doing everything which is needed but the first thing I need to shift to a flat and most probably I’ll be doing that next month so I’d request you to pray for me so that I get a pretty flat where I’d make it feels like home and I’d make myself better because this is sick that I’m sitting and venting and doing nothing about it and definitely that’s not me.

So you just heard me and I’m so grateful to you for that I hope you get everything in your life that you want and I’m so proud of you for where you are after facing every barrier and crossing that.

Take care cuties I’ll be back idk when but I’d try to come back with something happy I hope or I’d come back the day I shift. I love you’ all for staying with me and giving me support, it means a lottt for me genuinely.

~Sagarika Bhattacharya