Helloooooo to y’all cuties reading this, i hope you’ve tried enough to get your shit together? If not then keep trying.
Well it’s been quite a bit long that I’m unable to sleep peacefully and these sleepless nights haunts me and I’m honestly scared of it and not ghosts, lol. Today genuinely I’m feeling extra low, i just don’t have energy to do anything after a bit long i cried like a baby though yes from past few months I’m crying more often and I’m being way too emotional over things and i just hate it.
Recently i feel so worthless i cannot even explain, i feel like i ain’t doing anything left my last job, not even studying as of now, not even working out feeling like to sketch ain’t doing that too whereas i love to sketch with high volume music when I’m low. I’ve been feeling miserable, lonely and and there’s few people who’ll hear me out and gonna support me but still i feel so empty.
The sleepless nights makes me feel worthless, makes me afraid bout my future even after i know that I’ll do everything for my career to make myself successful but i also know my fate and I’m so fuckin’ scared of it. Trust me writing stuff down isn’t easy specially the only moments when you’re at your lowest. But yk what makes me feel better, when i see those written stuff and realize that I’ve overcome that and I’ve the courage to overcome evrything. I’ve been getting self harm urges aarhe lot again recently and suicidal thoughts too but the only thing is I’m controlling myself a lot and honestly im proud of myself for that. You must be thinking that this is so weird that i say something and again I’m the one who’s praising myself, lmao that’s how I’ve grown up.
Though lemme tell you something funny bout the death thing, I’m really not scared to die, but yk what i don’t wanna die with scars on my face because i honestly hate any marks on my face lol. I hope you smiled 🙂 though it’s really true. If yk me you know this i guess so!
~ Sagarika Bhattacharya
