Darkness

Darkness. It is a word in which i live. It is a word, that describes my life. I often feel numb, alone as I’ve nobody by my side who can get me understand me, understand the things I’m going through. It’s really hard to get through everything alone by yourself when no is there by your side. I don’t know if it’s just me or it’s just them? The actual problem is i feel too much but doesn’t know how to express it. You will laugh knowing that i feel like crying but tears doesn’t come, cannot even cry peacefully.

Life is a living hell for me, where i cannot leave peacefully, nowdays there’s isn’t a day when i stay without stress and anxiety.

It’s very weird that I’m venting it out here but I’ve no place to go, i feel this is safe place. Well it’s so easy to lecture someone when they share something with you but it’s too hard to understand them what they’re going through. When you finally feel like you’ve got someone to love you, to be with you but at the end of the day you’re just alone stressing and depressed and have no one that is moment you realize you can give your best still you can be alone and have no one.

I’m thankful to people who ditched me, specially a best friend i had, and other people whoever have left me thanks to them. I’m a better person because of them now. But i hope you do good if anyone reading this and feeling bad about yourself.

But yes I’m glad for the girl I’m staying with rn as my roommate that he helps me to understand things, to support me, to stay up all night for me and I’m thankful for having a person like that.

I understand you cannot get everything you want, but my life sucks into another level that i don’t get anything i want, neither i wish . Life is hard. Struggling af.

Hope everyone stays happy and get whatever they want and do well in their lives. Good luck cuties ❤